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Friday, December 7, 2012

Survival Mode

In my first post I wrote about how from the time our second child, Collin was born in July 2009 up until I began blogging, I felt like our household had been in "survival mode".  The earliest years of parenting Lucy and Collin had knocked my socks off, but I finally felt like we were finding a rhythm as a family.

Well, the months of October and November seemed to have been a (hopefully temporary) lapse back into survival mode. Yep, only one month after joyfully announcing that we weren't "there" anymore and started to blog all about it, we ended up back in "that" place.  I want to be a voice of authenticity about the joys AND challenges of parenting, so I decided to describe what October and November 2012 have been like and share how I am seeking to persevere in December. : )

Early on in October I discovered the possibility (which turned into hope) that I was pregnant with our third child.  My hope was realized two weeks into the month when I had a positive pregnancy test! I figured out that my due date would be just a week before Collin's birthday and it brought me right back to the joyful experience of learning that I was pregnant with him four years ago.  Almost like clockwork, my pregnancy was mimicking the experience of my first pregnancy.  Same symptoms along the same timeline during the same time of year.  Along with that first trimester exhaustion, life with Lucy and Collin became once again a bit more like "survival".  I was okay with that, knowing that those "suck-the-life-out-of-you" early pregnancy days would be temporary. I had my eye on the second trimester "prize" of renewed energy and figured that we could slip back into our rhythm at that time.

We got through October and jumped into November which is traditionally our busiest month of the year.  I was looking forward to having my first prenatal appointment on the 19th.  Unfortunately, during that appointment when the doctor took me for an ultrasound, we discovered that there was no baby.  We learned that I was experiencing a "blighted ovum" which means that at the implantation stage of pregnancy, there was no further development of the baby, even though my body continued to progress with the "pregnancy" along with all the symptoms and feelings of pregnancy.

Darin and I were (are) definitely disappointed.  I allowed myself a good long day of crying and there are weepy moments that are still popping up here and there.  At the same time, I just keep looking at my sweet Lucy and Collin who are here with me and feel so thankful for them and thankful to be their mommy.  I remember the most valuable thing I learned from the infertility we experienced before Lucy and Collin came into our lives and Psalm 127:3 sums it up-
 "Children are a heritage of the Lord, offspring a reward from Him".
 In other words, children are a gift from God and not something that we deserve or are entitled to. When God allowed Darin and I to adopt Lucy in 2008 and give birth to Collin in 2009, many sweet folks told us that they were happy for us because we "deserved" those children. I knew the heart and intentions of those comments, but I have never felt that God gave me children because I deserved them.

I am sure glad I had that settled in my mind BEFORE the nitty-gritty last few years of parenting came along for Darin and I!  In the moments when my kids' demands have driven me to the end of myself, I am sure glad I haven't had to wrestle with the question, "What have I done to deserve THIS?"  In the sweet (almost-too-good-to-be-true) moments when I have been the object of the most pure forms of Lucy and Collin's affection, it is a good thing I haven't felt like I deserved it because I surely would have spoiled those moments with my own pride.

Now with this miscarriage, I sure am glad that the Spirit of God settled in my mind years ago that a child is an undeserved gift, otherwise, what range of emotions and questions might I be visiting right now?  Instead, along with the disappointment, I can view the experience of this very short pregnancy with thankfulness.  A sweet friend articulated this feeling of gratitude for me when I couldn't put my own finger on it when she wrote to me after I told her the news. She said,
 "My guess is that there are some precious little treasures that only you get to keep because you were fortunate enough to get to make a home for this baby for awhile." 

 Her guess was right.

So, October and November 2012 in our household were about "survival".  The routines that Lucy and Collin function so well on fell by the wayside and life wasn't always so smooth.  I only fit in preschool lessons when I had the energy.  I may have let them watch a few mores PBS shows than I normally would. They saw their mommy's emotions and may have felt a little confused by them.  I am pretty sure that all of that is OK and I am pretty sure that we're slowly getting that "groove" back.  AND I can remember amid all my mothering efforts that Lucy and Collin are actually in the much more capable hands of the One who gave them to me. ♥


My three greatest earthly blessing having fun together in October despite being in "survival mode" again. : )

xoxo,

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Preschool at Home: Caps for Sale

With the arrival of cooler fall temperatures in Cental Iowa, increased exposure to GERMS has naturally begun as well.  The last two weeks, both of my sweeties had a miserable, drawn-out upper respiratory cold that resulted in sinus and ear infections.  Truly, this made me pause and realize that our family has enjoyed a long HEALTHY stretch for some time and I am so glad that we made it through the summer and most of the fall with virtually no sickness (at least none that I can remember) and this is indeed something to be thankful for.

We stretched out our next Before Five in a Row unit, Caps for Sale, over the course of two weeks and enjoyed reading, learning and playing in between coughing, sneezing, washing hands, doctor visits and slurping down medicine.  

I am so glad we had such a fun and spirited book to learn along with, as Lucy and Collin were often needing cheering up.


This is the classic story of a cap peddler who makes a poor decision to sleep on the job and ends up losing his wares to a treeful of monkeys!  As the story goes, the peddler unsuccessfully tries to get his hats back by making angry demands of the monkeys and ends up accidentally getting them back when they mimic his frustrated act of throwing his own hat to the ground and storming off.  I remember this book capturing my attention as a young child in elementary school and it did the same for my two little "monkeys". We definitely enjoyed multiple readings and it was especially fun to "act" out the story together.


We enjoyed lap book activities from Homeschool Share as well as the trusty printable pack from Homeschool Creations. Notice that the majority of our school times in this unit were spent in our PJs and with rumpled hair (mommy was no exception!).  Yep, that's how we roll on sick days. : )





This little activity from Homeschool Creations was a great exercise in fine motor/cutting skills as well as sequencing.  They did a great job with the task of ordering the caps just the way they were in the book. I expected them to need more of my help, but it turns out they didn't need my guidance at all with this little project.


Simple fun trying different hats on our monkey "paper doll".


We of course, had to try our hand at balancing a stack of hats on our heads, just like the peddler.  That's no easy task!  No wonder the guy was tired and had to take a nap. : )


Poor Lucy, you can tell by her face that she felt miserable that morning!


My hat-loving boy loved this activity the best.  No surprise there.


Despite being sick, these sweeties were happy and engaged with our Caps for Sale unit.  I think it definitely helped that we stretched it over two weeks and took a very relaxed approach.  This week they are back to their normal, healthy selves and we are currently taking another break from Before Five in a Row to enjoy a Thanksgiving-themed unit.  More on that to come. 

xoxo,

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Preschool at Home: The Big Green Pocketbook and The Runaway Bunny

The month of October has been a wild one in our world including wonderful visits from out-of-town friends and family, a garage sale, a weekend trip out of town for my beautiful cousin's wedding and the addition of FIVE new pets (that would be two chickens and three bunnies-more on that later!).  Thrown in were some technical difficulties with my printer (which I depend on for planning and putting together lessons for each school week) and we had some real threats to our little homeschooling routine around here.

Despite the changes to our schedule and lack of normalcy, we still managed to fit in some decent learning times with the next two books in our Before Five in a Row series, so I'll recap both of those weeks in one post here:

The Big Green Pocketbook


This sweet book easily became a new favorite for both kids!  It is the story of a day spent between a mother and daughter riding the city bus to accomplish several tasks and errands.  The main character starts her day with her mama with an empty green bag and fills it up with various bits of ephemera and trinkets from each stop.  Perhaps it was the simplicity of the tale that made Lucy and Collin connect to it so well, or possibly the emotions experienced by the girl when she loses her bag at the end of the day were relatable but they NEVER got tired of reading and connecting with the story.

Here's just a quick look at our activities together with this book:

Letter "P" collage with pipe cleaners:


 Practicing writing the letter "P".


We had some great fine motor practice with cutting and story sequencing with this lapbook activity from Homeschool Share.  They each created a paper "pocketbook" pouch and then cut out pictures of each item that the girl in the story placed in her book.  Both Lucy and Collin enjoyed listening to the story and filling their pocketbooks along with their "friend" in the book.




Perhaps the highlight of the week was getting to experience an afternoon of riding a bus and making stops around downtown Des Moines with our sweet play group friends!  This week was my turn to plan our activities for our get together, so I arranged for us all to meet downtown where we read our book at the sculpture garden and then hopped onto a free shuttle bus for an adventure. 



Each child brought an empty backpack to fill with treasures from our stops, our final and most productive stop being the public library where each enthusiastic little one picked out a stack of books to take and enjoy at home!  How fun!

The Runaway Bunny


The Runaway Bunny is a story about the enduring love between mother and child.  No matter how hard the little bunny in the story determines to run away from his mother, she is doubly determined to never let him far from her sight. This is another book that has special meaning for me as it was also one that was a part of my childhood.  It definitely ranks as one of my mother's all-time favorite children's books and our copy was a gift from her and my dad when Lucy was a newborn!  It just so happened that my parents were visiting from out of town during our week with this book, so it was wonderful to invite my mom to participate in our school time while they were here!

The kids with my parents, "Mama Gail and Grandpa!"

Here's some highlights from our week:

The recent addition of BUNNIES to our household made the book's subject matter particularly meaningful.  Here Lucy and Collin share a moment with little Cottontail:


We used paper straws to blow pom poms across the table, just like the mama bunny said she would become the "wind" and blow her baby bunny where she wanted him to go should he "become a sailboat  and sail away from her."

We also made the bunny masks which you see on their heads.  This was an activity from The Runaway Bunny "Fold and Learn" printable pack which is available for purchase from the Five in a Row website.  (Sidenote: the fold and learn packs are fun but a little pricey, so they are not something I can afford for every unit!  But it was fun to give it a try and we did make use of it!)


We also enjoyed various activities from the wonderful Runaway Bunny printable pack from Homeschool Creations:




This ended up being a fun and fairly relaxed learning week. It was also nice to let my mom and dad have a little peek into what our learning endeavors are like, which was a rare opportunity as we only see each other about twice a year. I love the memories we made together this week!

xoxo,

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Preschool at Home: Fall Fun

This week the kids and I took a little break from our Before Five in a Row curriculum and did a Fall-themed unit. With the help of this wonderful Fall Fun Printable Pack from Homeschool Creations and the GORGEOUS Fall weather and colors in Cental Iowa this week, this proved to be a fun and meaningful week together.

Rather than working with one book in great detail, I just found several fall-themed books we happened to have on our shelves to read and enjoy throughout the week:

 My Happy Pumpkin by Crystal Bowman
From Seed to Pumpkin by Wendy Pfeffer


We took another trip to the apple orchard that we visited with our playgroup friends during our "Ask Mr. Bear" unit. We had a great time once again and Lucy and Collin both enjoyed picking out some pumpkins and gourds to take home.


We used Q-tips and "fall"-colored paints to create these tree pictures. (An idea from this website which I discovered on Pinterest)




We did a lot of early/pre-math activities with all the wonderful Homeschool Creation Printables I mentioned above.  These activities really held their attention this week.  It was particularly fun to see the concept of sorting by size as well as pattern recognition begin to "click" for them.





Towards the end of this week, I also spent some time thinking through and rearranging the layout of our little "school room" (which seems to always be a work in progress.)   I ended up removing/relocating our wicker loveseat and papasan chair frames, and kept the papasan cushion to create a cozy little nook.  We're going to try to sit here together for our read-aloud times and memory verse practice.


They seem to like this new spot and I'm pleased with how much more space and "wiggle room" we have to work with now. In case you are interested- the little "posters" on the wall there behind the kids were free prints that came from another one of my favorite online learning resources, Mr. Printables.


I loved bonding and learning with my little ones while we enjoyed the beauty of Fall.  I can't help but think that all the time we spent admiring and enjoying the beauty of God's creation made a difference- it was a much more relaxed and peaceful learning time than our last couple of weeks and I was sorry to see it come to an end.  But so grateful.

Thanks for reading!

xoxo,

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Preschool at Home: Goodnight Moon

We spent this week of preschool with the classic book Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown.


After a tough time in preschool land last week, I went into this week with a bit of a more relaxed approach, planning activities that weren't so heavy on letters and numbers.  Instead we spent more time with creative story-telling, music, fine motor skills and crafts.  I wanted to just bond with the kids with some intentional PLAY this week and if, while we were enjoying each other's company, we also got in some good learning, then great!

To keep the flow going, we did continue with a letter for the week: "M" and made our weekly collage with macaroni and "do-a-dots" in the main colors from the illustrations in the book.


One morning I made our version of "mush" for breakfast - pumpkin pie oatmeal!  Yum!




In addition to our readings of the book this week, we also enjoyed the story by watching this sweet Goodnight Moon video.  It was very calming and fun to watch before bedtime in the evenings.




Going along with the "M" theme, we did some simple counting and matching exercises with our "M &M Counting Books".  Suffice it to say that there were very few protests with this activity!


Since the book references the nursery rhyme, "Hey Diddle Diddle" and the fairy tale, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", we thought we'd have some fun with both of these classics! 

 I found a simple version of, "Hey Diddle Diddle" set to music in iTunes and we used this multiple times for some music fun.   During some listens, we used rhythm instruments to join in with the beats in the music.  We also built on that by adding a "marching" element to our merriment with each of them having several opportunities to be the leader for the duration of the song.  We also had our fair share of dancing to the music with ribbon wands and sashes.  They SOOO got into this and I saw that it inspired them toward more creativity-after one of these music sessions, they created their own game of "jumping over the moon" with a balloon.  Pretty cute. : )


We enjoyed the story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" by reenacting it with finger puppets and doll house furniture that we already had.  This encouraged lots of creative collaboration and fun!


I used their hands to trace out "mitten" patterns on foam craft sheets and had them cut them out, decorate them and pin them on to a length of yarn I strung up in our school room.  This was a great fine motor and creative activity.




I find that when we are practicing cutting with scissors, it's better to use something other than plain paper, because often they will just rip right through the paper when their efforts with scissors aren't going their way!  I have found that using craft foam sheets, felt fabric sheets and heavy card stock seem to facilitate better cutting practice for them.



We also enjoyed a picnic and a trip to the zoo with our playgroup friends! Taking inspiration from the red balloon in the story, we thought it would be a fun surprise to bring one for each kid.  That was also a big hit!


This week (like any week) had its highs and lows.  I had my moments as a mommy when my patience ran thin and I caught myself thinking that I just wasn't cut out for this "homeschooling thing".  I ALSO had chances to observe their creativity blossoming, see their satisfaction when they grasped a new idea and watch their affection for each other grow.  And getting to be present in THOSE moments, makes the perseverance through the difficult ones worthwhile.  All in all, our week with Goodnight Moon was a meaningful and memorable one.

xoxo,

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Buddy System

In a recent post I shared a bit about my and Darin's experience of discovering Lucy's special needs, and our process of finding the help she/we needed through occupational therapy, speech-language therapy and family counseling/therapy.  I shared in a fairly matter-of-fact manner about those experiences, and this is something of a follow-up post addressing a matter of the heart pertaining to her specific need for help in social settings...

Any mother desires to see her children (with or without special needs) find acceptance and make connections with friends. Most kids from time to time experience the pain of being left out or rejected by peers, so I have a feeling that most people can relate to my heart when it comes to helping Lucy form relationships with other kids.

The best way I can share is with a quick story. A few months back, I brought the kids to a park for some playtime.  Lucy quickly noticed two little girls close to her age who already knew each other and appeared to have been brought by their mothers for a play date. The two girls were happily playing and chatting together and I could tell by the way Lucy was observing them that she wanted to be a part of their friendship.  While Lucy can ask and respond to many questions and can engage in simple conversational language, she is not able to converse on a level that is typical for her peers. This doesn't mean she doesn't desire to make conversation, so her approach in this situation with the two girls was to physically place herself in between them and verbalize a string of unintelligible gibberish in a conversational manner. 

One of the girls paused, gave Lucy a puzzled look and said, "Are you talkin' Japanese?"

I gave the girl a smile and said in a cheerful voice, "No, sometimes she just likes to speak in her own made up language." 

The girl then said, "Okay," and then went back to playing with her original friend.

Of course the other girl's response to Lucy was completely innocent and actually pretty funny (I did get a chuckle out of it), but this story does illustrate what I have come to accept: sometimes it is not realistic to expect that Lucy's peers will be able to understand how to interact with Lucy in a one on one situation without guidance from me.  

My dilemma is that I don't always want to be a "helicopter" parent hovering about Lucy and jumping into her and Collin's playtime with other kids.  Thankfully, Darin and I HAVE found a strategy that plays a key role in making social situations successful for Lucy and it is nothing more than the good old-fashioned "Buddy System".  

The trick here is to do what we can to find other kids who are a bit OLDER than Lucy (for her that means kids ranging from ages 7 to the "tweens") who might take interest in being her "buddy".  For example, we have a family who is dear to us who has a daughter who is now 11.  For more than two years now, this sweet girl has come over to our house once a week after school to give me a hand with the kids.  Both kids love her and I often bring her with us when we venture to a park or the zoo.  Her presence is really helpful when Lucy is in social settings that would otherwise be difficult for her.  She is still a kid but she also has the ability to see when Lucy needs extra help or guidance and she does a beautiful job providing just that.

Another way that the "buddy" system helped Lucy tremendously is when she attended Vacation Bible School at my parents-in-law's church two summers ago.  While I wasn't ready to put her into the VBS at our own church, my mother-in-law invited us to have Lucy attend their church's program because they had volunteer buddies available specifically for kids with special needs.  Lucy's buddy (a teenage girl)  just hung out with Lucy during the week and helped her participate in most of the activities.  She could tell when Lucy just wasn't "jiving" with the program and in those instances, she would take Lucy for a little walk until she seemed ready to enter back into the group setting. 

And most recently the "buddy system" has come into play for Lucy in an amazing local program offered by Ballet Des Moines called Dance Without Limits (DWOL). This is a ten-week dance class for children with special needs who may not be able to successfully participate in a typical dance class.  The heart of how DWOL works lies in the WONDERFUL helpers who are tween and teenage dancers who volunteer their time. Lucy absolutely loves her sweet helpers and I think she would do just about anything they asked of her.




For those who read this and have children who also seem to need some extra help in social settings, I hope that what I have shared gives you some encouragement and some ideas.  For those of you who have older children who would enjoy being a "buddy", know that there are children with "hidden disabilities" all around you, and I would encourage you to simply pay attention.  If or when you become cognizant of such a child in your circle consider trying to make such a connection with your son or daughter.  Perhaps you are member of a church and are aware that there are children in your fellowship who could benefit greatly from having a "buddy" with them during Sunday School or other children's programs. If this idea were to get the wheels turning in your head, perhaps you could help to put a volunteer system in place like the one at my parents-in-law's church.  I guarantee it would make a difference in the lives of these children and their families.

Thanks for reading and allowing me to share my heart and suggestions with you on this matter. : ) I can't adequately express how "magical" this approach has been for Lucy and what it could be for other's like her.

xoxo,

Friday, September 21, 2012

Preschool at Home: Blueberries for Sal

So I went into this week of preschool with lots of personal excitement, mainly because of our book for the week:


Blueberries for Sal

This particular book wasn't one that I had read before, but the book One Morning in Maine (also by Robert McCloskey and with the same main character) was a special part of my childhood. So being the sentimental soul that I am, I was eager to connect my children to "Sal", her mother and their delightful day of picking blueberries on a hillside. Also, between the suggested ideas from the BFIAR manual, the online resources available and a few original ideas of my own, I *may* have gone a little overboard in my preparations and visions for all we would do this week.



However, the week we've had could hardly be characterized as having the same "storybook charm" that we see when we open the pages of this book.  Due to some changes in our normal routine including several more outings and appointments than we have in a typical week, we as a family were just a little bit "off".  The kids' bedtimes did not go as smoothly as they normally do, resulting in sleep deprivation for most of us.  To top it off, Miss Lucy seemed to be experiencing more sensory challenges than normal.  This all resulted in irritable children and a grumpy mommy who all had to apologize to each other on several occasions.  

Despite it all, I think we still managed to have some meaningful learning experiences with Blueberries for Sal and I'll share the highlights here:


Naturally our letter for this week was "B". We made our own blueberry and leaf stamps  and used them to fill our letter "B" pictures with blueberry prints.


Last week, Lucy's Speech-Language pathologist and I talked about how we could work on her vocabulary expansion goal at home.  She made the suggestion that we work on a small set of vocabulary words each week that corresponds with the books we are using. This is a really easy approach, especially since the BFIAR printables available from Homeschool Creations include readymade cards with words and images from each unit.  I wanted to find a fun way to work on this, so I decided to use this magnetic fishing game that I originally found through Pinterest.


 I decided to print out the pictures from the cards provided by Homeschool Creations and attach them to our metal circles (frozen juice concentrate lids!) with a repositionable adhesive so I can easily swap in and out each week's vocabulary set.  This proved to be a truly fun activity that the kids enjoyed doing every day despite the general grumpiness and inflexibility that reigned for most of the week! By the end of the week they could accurately "label" most of the pictures by recalling the words from memory, which is the goal.


Both kids really enjoyed counting out pom pom "blueberries" and "feeding" them to the bear.  I used a template found here (another Pinterest find) to make the bear face for this activity.


After some good counting practice with the "Feed the Bear" game, we attempted to introduce the concept of addition with this printable, also from Homeschool Creations. This activity was one that didn't go over so well given the week we had, but they tolerated at least one round before that morning's meltdown occurred!  We'll keep it around and try again in the future!


On one morning we took a break from the more "academic" activities and after reading the book and practicing our verse for the week (Ruth 1:16),we  enjoyed a game of memory with our Ravensburger  "Teddy Mix & Match" game.


Here Lucy is holding up a match she made: the two grumpy bears. How fitting!! : )


One idea I came across for this unit was to can our own blueberries, just like "Sal" and her mother did in the story... yeah that wasn't happening. Instead we went to one of our favorite local coffee shops and shared a blueberry scone. That went alright until they started rolling their napkins up into balls and throwing them all over the place. They also ran a few laps around our table for good measure.  Wasn't long before I got the "can't you control your children in public?" stares.  Ehh... the scones tasted great anyways.

Despite the less-than-perfect, real-life nature of our week, I still felt like there was value to our learning times together, and I do think they formed an attachment with the book.  Plus, the extra practice in loving each other despite grumpiness and showing forgiveness when it was needed was perhaps a more valuable learning experience than what I planned and prepared for. Here's to the theme of this blog: a NEW day! Looking forward to a new day... or rather a new week with our next book, Good Night Moon.  : )

xoxo,