Creating Structure

Being the right-brained creative gal that I am, I have always tended to bristle at the idea of a schedule-driven life and home. I did eventually accept the fact that some degree of order is simply necessary to function well in life, but had to deal with the fact that creating order and structure wasn't a skill I came by naturally.

One of my goals for coming out of the "survival mode" our family has lived in for three years, was that I would be able to find a way to create routine in our home that would complement my personality rather than fight it. Taking inspiration from books, and talking with friends/family who are more skilled in this area than I am, I have incorporated some strategies that are making a difference for good in our family, and I thought I'd share one of those strategies today.

A visual scheduling system is tool often used for kids with special communication needs due to language disorders and delays. After receiving encouragement from Lucy's occupational therapist and speech-language pathologist, as well as from my sister who is a speech therapist in an elementary school, I decided to create a visual scheduling system for our family as a means to involve the kids in planning out our time and helping them know what to expect during the day.

I began by making a list of EVERYTHING I could think of that our family does, including at-home routines, errands, recreational activities, and social opportunities.  This was a lengthy process, but I came up with about forty things and I found a photographic image to represent each item.  I then opened up Microsoft Publisher and using the business card template, created a card for each of the items on my list that included text and the images. Then I used my Xyron Creative Station with the magnet-laminate cartridge to turn the cards into magnets.  They ended up looking like this:

I also made text-only magnets that represented "morning", "afternoon", and "evening" and the seven days of the week.

Then I went to a craft shop and purchased a small metal board that is often used by cross-stitchers to keep track of their patterns. I love this board because the size and weight makes it portable. The only drawback was that the edges were fairly sharp... a problem that was easily remedied with my stash of cute Japanese washi tape:

I was then ready to introduce the concept to the kids.  I decided that we would use the board three times a day.  In the morning at breakfast I would sit with the kids, and introduce the plan for the morning by lining up the magnets in the desired order.  It was important to me that we only did a section of the day at the time, so as not to overwhelm them with more information than they could handle. This is what a common morning looks like for us:

Then at lunchtime, we come together again with the board and plan out the afternoon.  The nice thing here is that in the afternoons, there is normally some flexibility for them to have some decision-making power.  In those cases, I decide on a group of activities that I approve of, present those options to the kids with the magnets and let them create their own afternoon schedule.  (This is also really helpful when we leave the kids with a sitter, because it gives them ideas of what we have available to do in our home and helps them to get their time together off to a good start.)

When Darin comes home from work and we are all sitting together at dinner, we can then plan the rest of our evening as a family and invite him into the flow we've had going that day. This really helps us all to finish our day well.

One of the things that I find helpful is that when one or both of the kids desire to stray from the routine, we can grab the board together and discuss it.  Sometimes we can't be flexible and we have to stick to the plan. In that event, the board is a visual aid to help them understand that.  Other times, we can be flexible and change things around, but first we physically add, remove or rearrange the magnets on the board to agree upon the changes.

Now that we have been using the board for a couple months, I find that we have some decent habits formed and we don't always have to use it for EVERY portion of EVERY day, but when things are starting to get a little chaotic, and we need to restore a sense of order, we pull out the board and magnets. Since they are familiar with the system, they have an easier time accepting and cooperating with my or Darin's intervention.

This is a tool that complements my personality because I was able to use my creativity in putting together the magnets and board, and it allows for the flexibility that I crave.  It also has helped foster a sense of peace within our household because it acknowledges the kids' desires for involvement in decision-making while still maintaining my and Darin's roles as parents.

What do you think? Have you discovered tools or strategies that help bring routine and order to your family's life while still acknowledging your unique personality?  I'd love to hear what has worked for you!

xoxo,