March in Iowa is definitely unpredictable in terms of weather. Although we all are SO ready for warmer weather every year when March rolls around, we don't hold our breath with that expectation. I normally try to view March as another winter month and if we get a hint of spring, then it's a bonus. I do remember the week before Darin's injury as being truly beautiful and we were loving outdoor time. I remember one afternoon in particular that the kids and I were playing with the rabbits and chickens in the backyard and cherishing the simple fun.
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| The Stevenson kids enjoying our backyard in March 2015. |
In addition to the joy that warm weather and outdoor fun brought, I remember that right before Darin's injury, he and I had recently come out on the other end of some conflict that had taken a lot out of both of us. Even though the details of the disagreement seem fuzzy and less important to me now, I remember it as being big and important at the time. And after some hard work fighting for each other, we had a sort of breakthrough. We received God's grace and mercy and extended it to one another. It was so satisfying. We had also just had a really wonderful "stay-cation" with the kids at a local hotel, playing in the pool, and enjoying lighthearted fun. We were all getting along well. We were relaxed. At peace. The sun was shining on us. Literally.
And then he fell off that ladder. And we were thrust into instant chaos, confusion and panic. I remember that first night Darin was in the hospital. I spent a restless night bouncing back and forth between Darin's room and a pullout bed in the dark ICU family lounge. Any time I came close to falling asleep, I was abruptly brought out of it with a panic attack. When I was with him he was so heavily medicated, and buried under IVs, tubes and beeping noises. It was obvious that he had little awareness of what was really happening. My parents-in-law stayed at our house overnight with our kids. Nora had never spent a night away from me and my mother-in-law spent the entire evening trying to no avail to comfort and calm her. By the time I saw Lucy and Collin, it was the second night of his hospitalization and I anxiously snuggled in their beds with them, listening to Lucy tearfully say, "Daddy! Daddy!" over and over again.
How could everything change so suddenly? The glorious days we had just enjoyed seemed worlds away.
Today, Darin and I were sitting in the 11:00 AM service of the church we just started to attend. Our pastor was describing the triumphal entrance that Jesus made into Jerusalem just a few short days before his crucifixion. This is the event we celebrate on Palm Sunday, and the picture we see from the Biblical accounts, is that He was being hailed as a king... a hero of sorts, or to use a more Biblical phrase, a messiah. There was celebrating in the streets. Joy. And then, to borrow a phrase from our pastor this morning, "suddenly everything changes." The story takes an ominous turn. Before long Jesus enjoys a meal with his twelve closest followers but we learn that one of them has plans to turn him into the authorities who seek to take his life. Before we know it, the crowds that joyfully welcomed him are replaced by a mob demanding his execution. How could everything change so quickly?
Some stunning words from Hebrews 12 come to my mind,
"let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." (vs1b-3)I am reminded that Jesus knew everything He was about to endure. And He went to it for the joy set before him. Even though the cost on his part was unimaginable. It was worth it because it was his rescue mission to save us from our sin and ultimately from our suffering, even though on this side of eternity there is still suffering for each of us to endure for a time.
Darin and I are so thankful that when everything suddenly changed in our world last March, Jesus knew everything we were about to endure. And in addition to giving us himself as our redeemer, he also gave himself as our example. As for the joy set before him when he went forward to suffer? He has also invited us enter into that joy by placing our hope in him, especially when it is our time to suffer. And by the grace of the Father and through the empowering of the Holy Spirit I believe we are learning to do just that.
xoxo,
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